Say what...?!

Can we just take a moment to talk about things one shouldn't say on a first date?

I'm the first to admit that sometime I lack that filter that keeps weird things from getting from your brain to your mouth, and then ultimately out into the world. But come on people, saying something slightly stupid, or mildly weird, is very different than saying something that is outright disrespectful.  I am continually amazed at people's complete disregard for general respect for not only the general public, but the people that they are sitting across the table from. 

Let's back flash here.

Que the blurry squiggly screen effect.

A while back, I met a guy from an online dating website at my favorite restaurant and bar (Harry's Burgers and Bar, Providence, RI) for some slider burgers and beer.

I arrived my normal 2 minutes late because despite the fact that I have been driving in the city since I was 16, my brain has a complete in ability to grasp the parking situation and had to drive around two or three times to find a spot, and ended up having to walk from a good two blocks anyway.

When I got there he was sweet, he gave me a hug and told me he was excited to meet me. He told me that I looked pretty and asked about the place we were going to be spending the evening.  I could tell he was a little wary, he was by far a "country boy" (a special breed to me who aesthetically if find incredibly attractive. This guy was no exception, he was tall, easily 6'4" had a nice thick long beard, and has sparkling blue eyes; but socially we are polar opposites) 

We went inside ordered our drinks found a spot out of the way and say and waited for a table.  He looked around, the look on his face when a tall, emaciated-looking post grad rocking skin tight jeans, a bowler hat and tweed blazer, was nothing short of "da fuq?!"

"We don't get people like this in my town." He whispered to me.

"College students?" I replyed with a laugh.

"No men who are into 'fashion'" he said while his eyes scanned the room once more, noticing for maybe the first time the majority of the population. "You'd get your ass kicked if you were some of these guys in my local bar."

The idea that he frequented a bar where people would kick ass in general bothered me, not to mention that it could be for a reason so simple as ones style if dress. 

And yes I realize he was not being literal, that he and his friends wouldn't spring out of their seats like ejection pilots at the sight of a skinny boy in straight legs and pounce on him like a pack of hungry lions in the dry season. I was more bothered because I knew what he meant, the good ol' boys at his local bar were less than welcoming to outsiders, and much less welcoming to anyone who was slightly... We'll say "alternative."

But he didn't say he specifically would do the ass kicking, so I decided to let the night continue, besides, I can't judge his personality by his bar any more than he could by mine, right? I was very forward thinking and diplomatic about the whole situation... Or I really wanted to eat and I was very much enjoying my beer (my favorite "in-heat wheat")

We finally got our table and ordered another round and some grub. The conversation was run of the mill for the most part, "what do you do for fun" "do you like movies?" "Favorite tv show as a kid?" "Are you into sports?"

It was all normal pleasent conversation, until the conversation turned to things we did as kids, that may have been really dumb, but luckily turned out ok.

He started a funny story about tying a skateboard to someone's bicycle, and all of his friends taking turns to ride behind the bike. He started laughing as he approached what I imagine is going to be the funny part of the story. He squeezes out between chuckles..."then this A-rab kid we knew..." 

I didn't even hear what he said next. "Excuse me? Who?"

"An A-rab kid I knew..."

I got that he grew up kinda in the country, but it was the country of Massachusetts, not Alabama! He grew up 25 minutes from Boston for Christ's sake! It's a 61% Democrat majority!

I was flabbergasted... I don't even remember the punch line of the story, I was completely in shock. I felt like for a second I was teleported to the Deep South, and that some dudes in sheets were going to come I carrying lighters and hammers.  Who says something like that?!

However, sad to say, this wasn't the only time that while on a date with someone that I had a "wtf" moment in reaction to what they said.

Just a couple of weeks ago, while perusing the Manazon (place to online shop for men...get it...? Anyway,) I spotted a mildly attractive guy who had already messaged me, he wasn't my type really (he didn't drink), and he was kinda short (under 6'), and he had a kid (there's no explanation there, I just know I'm no Julia Roberts) but I was hung over and wanted to go to chilis and he didn't mind meeting me there so I agreed to it.

This began one of the most awkward meals I've ever had.  Firstly, he didn't drink, so when I ordered a miller light at 2 pm I felt slightly like an alcoholic when he ordered a diet coke. We made small talk while we waited to put in out food order which consisted a lot of him asking "why I was interested in him" in various forms. Eventually leading to me wanting to say "you were around and had a pulse!" But I was nice and didn't, but c'mon man! I am not here to stroke your ego on minute two of date one!

FINALLY the waitress came to get our food order, I knew what I wanted before I walked in. I ordered a med-rare cheese burger with a side of buffalo sauce and blue cheese dressing, I couldn't wait! He waved her away with a "nothing for me."

I know at this point it must have been obvious what I was thinking "who doesn't eat on a date?" Because he offered up without solicitation "I already had lunch"

Which I quickly replied "at least order a side of fries so it's not as weird." He laughed thinking I had made a joke...I hadn't.

At this point this guy more than annoyed me. But I soldiered through, I wanted my burger. 

We continued our small talk and the subject moved to jobs... I'm not going to torture you with the details, long story short on that one, he didn't have one. Which didn't bother me since I had already decided I wasn't ever going to talk to this guy after this sitting.

Time passed, gab gab gab, blah blah blah, and his kid came up.

A something year old who he doesn't get to see much. At this point I wasn't fully engaged in what he was saying, I had lost interest a while ago, but I was politely asking questions and nodding while he talked so he would keep talking do I could eat.

"That sucks, why don't you get to see... It?" 

"Well that's kinda a long story, the short version is that his Irish bitch mother doesn't want me to."

"What?!" I said as I choked on the French fry I had just put in my mouth. Just like they do in the movies. Potato debris went everywhere.

"Oh no it's ok, I'm Irish, I can make fun of them." He said completely missing the source of my disbelief. 

"Yea, that's the issue..." I replied as the waitress approached, "can I get the check please?"

She graciously complied with a knowing nod and took my credit card when she returned.

I scurried out of the restaurant to my car as quickly as I could.

"Well I had fun, think I can text you later?" He asked still not recognizing my disgust.

"Yea sure have at it..." I said as I closed my car door and turned over the ignition. 

Later that day he texted me telling me that he enjoyed talking to me and I was very pretty.

I replied with "thanks, but no thanks good luck out there."

Never heard from him again, thankfully.

But to this day I'm amazed not only would you address your child's mother as a bitch, but also not pick up on how that would be a HUGE turn off for a woman. Seriously WTF?!