May 17, 2013

Strict rules in my apartment

For the most part I live a pretty relaxed life. You may or may not know that I abide by, for the most part, a live and let live policy.  However there are a couple of things when it comes to my home that I strictly enforce to maintain a particular level of comfort, and in some minor cases, laziness.


They are as follow:

  • If you've been here more than once, you're no longer a guest, help your self to what ever you want... To eat or drink, that's my tv! 
  • There's a bookshelf in the bathroom, please place book in safe place between wiping and washing.
  •  I have an open poop policy, feel free to drop the kids at the pool when ever needed, I like to promote a clean Colon.
  • Bella has first dibs on the left side of the coach, she's not very cordial to guests about this matter.
  • After 8:15 pm there's a very good chance that I won't be wearing pants, all guest are welcome to participate in the "no pants policy"             
    • This is in no way a sexual invitation.
  • If you leave a toothbrush here please place in the appropriate toothbrush cup on the bathroom sink.
  • When brushing your teeth, please squeeze toothpaste from the bottom!
  • I like single ply toilet paper, if you have a problem with it, bring your own.


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All stories will be shared with the consent of the story teller, names will most likely be changed, as well as I will likely take some artistic liberty with some of the stories in order to simplify parts, or make others more interesting. For the most part tho I will try to stick to the facts as close as possible, unless of course I come up with a better ending to the story. I promise to let you know at the end if it's been altered for your enjoyment.