Pets I want, and why

Let me preface this by saying that I do not actually condone taking wild animals in as pets,  I feel that it is dangerous, and that no one really benefits, not the animal, or the pet owner, already domesticated animals, are ok in most cases. But still I think there are a number or animals that it would be awesome to have as pets. As follows...

1. Dog: the obvious, dogs are great, they offer wonderful companionship, protection and hoovering.  I have had a dog most of my life, and it wasn't until the first time that I was a friends house who did not have any pets at all that I realized how much I rely on my canine housemates to keep my floors clean when I am cooking, eating, or just existing near food in general. Pretty much anytime I drop something mildly edible on the floor, or the sofa, my very first response is to whistle and pat my leg, then point at the food and demand the nearest dog com and remedy my mess.
2. Cat: again I'm going with the obvious here. Lets be honest here, Cats are really only cool for one thing,  Laser pointers! For the most part they are terrible pets. They smell bad, they make what ever room their litter is in basically one giant litter box because they kick that shit everywhere. They pick and choose when they want to love you, and for the most part they pick not to. Their idea of snuggling, is a mixture of the most violent massage you have ever received and being attached with a little tiny swords.
3. Frog: when you're single frogs provide a good reminder that somewhere out there there's a prince for you, or at the very least some asshole who will buy you dinner and a movie before he teies to get in your pants.
4. Sloth: sloths are great pets because  even of all you do all day is get up to go to the bathroom and nothing else, you've had a more productive day than him.
5. Porcupine: porcupines are so multipurposeful. You can keep him by your door and use him to wipe mud off your shoes. Ask him to borrow a quill when you accidentally tore your favorite pants. They eat pretty much anything, so when you have left overs they won't go to waste, and your apartment will also be spider free!
6. Skunk: there's no other reason than just they are way too fucking cute for their own good!
7. Llama: yea they spit, and chest bump when they are bonded something and reguarlly kill their handlers when they do so because they are so strong, but think of how helpful one would be if your car broke down, they can carry heavy loads, have feet designed for walking in hard surfaces and I'm pretty sure you can't get a DUI on a llama.
8. Pig: basically every kid that grew up in the late 80s/early 90s who say the charolette's web wanted "some pig" of their own.