Wow! It's been a hella
long time! School is already in sup full swing and I already feel like I'm
losing myself to projects and learning. On the plus I already feel super
informed about the tech that is arch, so I should be able to build you a house
in like a minute! Anyway, I totally started writing a post the second day of
school, but didn't finish it, and obvs didn't post it... So here it is!
So I started school this
week. New year, new semester, new hatred for the mbta. Actually no that is a
lie, new hatred for the MDOT. There has been construction on MA-rt 93 since I
can remember. So what should be about a 45-minute trip to school each day ends
but being close to an hour and a half. But I try to make the best of it, I have
created a number of playlists on my iPhone, and I get to practice my sweet
harmonies, until I reach the red line and hop on the T. Where I start trying to
write a new post for this page. On Wednesday I was so excited about my
disturbing post about chicken noodle soup that I actually missed my stop! I had
to ride to the next stop, get off the train, get back on one going in the other
direction and then switch trains at my normal spot.
This whole experience
reminded me of the anxiety that; I felt as a child preparing and attending the
first day of school. For weeks before I would get ready. Buy a new backpack,
notebooks, pens, pencils, socks, underwear, folders, binders, and a couple new
outfits for the first week of school before uniforms were required. And as the
day got closer I would start to lose sleep, I would wake each morning with a
knot in my stomach, I would get cold sweats through out the day for no reason
at all, and I would have the most horrific nightmares about being trapped in
the school not being able to get out or find my way anywhere! Then when the
actually first day of school would come, I would have what felt like a mini
stroke while I got ready, with periodic blurred vision, loss of muscular
control, and inability to articulate anything to those around me. It was awful!
I massively hated starting a new school year.
I would always print out
my schedule for classes and check it a million times a day because I could not
even deal with the thought of possibly showing up in the wrong place. I
actually to this very day still have nightmares that I list my class schedule
and he secretary in the school office refused to give me a new copy because I
didn't have my school id and despite the fact that she had signed me out of the
building ten thousand times before could not verify who I was.
What I find a tiny bit
disturbing is that these fears and anxieties have carried over into my adult
life.
I started my third
semester of graduate school this semester, technically my 6th if you count the
three I attended in two other programs...
Anyway, prior to leaving
my house for class on the first day, I saved a PDF copy of my class schedule to
my phone and checked where my class was located about 15 times while on the
train ride up to school.
I greatly fear that I
will somehow imprint these weird ass anxieties about school on my own children someday;
I think that it's obvs that my future baby-daddy is going to have to deal with
all issues regarding school attendance, and preparation. While he's at it, he
should totes be the one to attend all those stupid PTA cult sessions, because
lets face it, I will totes end up shanking a soccer-mom-bitch...
So there was really no
purpose for this post except I wanted to write, "shank a
soccer-mom-bitch"
Sorry!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment