Ok, I really hope that
I'm not the only person who has experienced this. I'm totally coining a term
here too; it's what I've called this for a while. Have you ever had a 'prush'
on someone? It's a what urban dictionary calls a 'friend crush.' It's basically
you meet someone and they are sooo cool that you just want to be friends with
them. It's a completely platonic desire. (Platonic+crush=prush)
Here's the thing about
it, even though your motive is not to have a physical relationship with this
person, it has the same symptoms as a crush! You still get all tongue tied
around them, your palms sweat, you suddenly and inexplicably lose control of
most major motor skills (walking, typing, putting food in your mouth.) You
basically become a hot mess around them.
It's probably one of the
most frustrating situations you will ever be in. Your rational self will tell
you that they are just a person and your completely cool enough to hang out
with them, but you 9th level creeper self will convince you that everything you
say sounds stupid, and that nothing you do or wear will ever live up to the
standard of fucking awesome that the set forth for you.
This hasn't actually
happen to me to much in my life, once that I remember in elementary school,
once when I was in college, then once again in my 20s.
And of course me being
me, the situation in my 20s was actually with a guy that I was already sleeping
with! Yup, I can even make a prush more awkward than it already is. GO ME! Hear
me out in this it's not even my fault! He was REALLY cool! We had so much in
common, we had really similar senses of humor and always got really good laughs
when we were "together." We like a ton of the same music, TV shows,
he was willing to give most of the weird ass movies I liked a try, and we never
had a problem when it came to picking out food. And there wasn't anything to
complain about under the covers either.
But when it came to
actually talking to him, striking up and maintaining a real conversation
with him, I'll be damned if every thought I had sounded as awkward as Ashley
Simpson singing the wrong lyrics on SNL. It was terrible. I second-guessed
every thing! I knew he found me attractive, and sexy, but who cared about that?
I wanted him to think I was funny and clever and witty and charming!
I would try to come up
with interesting things to talk about before hand and save them to my arsenal
of conversations, but then when we were together like a machine gun with
"made in Britain" stamped on the side, I would seize up, ammo jammed!
So I know you're dying
to know, how did I get over the awkwardness, are we friends now, is there hope
for you too?
No! There is no hope, it
is still awkward as shit when I'm around him, I still only call him an
acquaintance out of a completely irrational anxiety that I'm over estimating
our situation by calling him my friend. But fuck it! I live for awkward! And he
still thinks I'm hot!
No comments:
Post a Comment