Everyone needs a sidekick!

I was an asshole in Jr high school. That's not even an exaggeration. I made a fool out of myself on a nearly daily basis! I once broke my ankle playing volleyball in gym, walked into a handicap parking sign and gave myself the biggest welt ever, was forced to write out the lyrics to the twelve days of Christmas because I got caught singing the wring words on the top of my lungs in the bathroom with a bunch of friends...in April, tripped over a chair and landed somehow tangled in the chair in front of most of my class, fell off the bottom bunk of my bed at camp and cut my leg so badly that it bleed through the nearly roll of paper towel I applied to it.  These are just the few that I remember, most of the stupid crap that happen I have forgotten because it was just that ridiculous. 

My most favorite Mae is a fucking idiot story though happen when I was in 8th grade. It was the springtime, everyone was excited that the school year was almost over, and energy was high through out the building.  The building by the way was a three story brick building that ran about 70ish feet long, with two stair wells at either end of it.  The stairs had a landing between each floor that was to the best of my memory about ten to twelve steps per landing. They had smooth metal railings going down on both sides and were only wide enough for two large child or two small adults to walk "side by each". The larger adult teachers often would walk up them a bit staggered, with one following closely behind another a stair or two back to maintain their conversation, but not be rubbing up against each other.

Now the great thing about these stairs was the facts that because they were so narrow, you could easily put your hands on the railings on either side, say a small prayer and skip a number of steps with a swing of your feet and a little faith in your upper body strength.  It was a blast! The thrill of the leap, the excitement of getting out of the building just a second or two faster at the end of the day, the rebel thrill of knowing you were breaking the rules! There were so many reasons to do it; mostly it was just to see who could skip the most steps for bragging rights.

At some point I found out that if I position my uniform sweater just right, I could slide down the railing a little while I leapt and increase my voided steps and sometimes make it down to the next landing. It was great I could skip all the steps it was the biggest thrill.

Once I discovered this practice, it became my preferred mode of decent at the end of the day. And for weeks with out a hitch I would make my way down from the third floor ten steps at a time, usually shouting my catch phrase at the time, this was something that would change from week to week, waiting to find the one utterance that embodied who I was. Granted at 12 most of them were stolen from other sources and were rarely even relevant to my life.

On a particularly lovely spring day I was going about my normal decent reciting my current catch phrase. I was half way down; in mid swing when out of nowhere He appeared, a cute little 6th grader, he was so young and innocent. Like a stealthy deer appearing in a clearing just inches from a hunter, we spotted each other right away, but there was no turning back for either of us. The events were already in motion. We knew what was going to happen, as if in slow motion I watched his face change to a mix of fear and excitement, fear of being trampled once I made it to the bottom of the stairs and excitement for getting to see up my uniform skirt. The poor thing. I was mid Catch Phrase "I am Bat...."

I tried to stop it. I did all that I could. I lowered my feet to try to catch a stair or two before the landing, my heel caught a step but it was no use, I underestimated my momentum! I started to topple face first! 

 Crash! Bam! Boom!

Landed right on top of him!  We were a tangled mess of limbs and backpacks when a teacher came running up the stairs to see what the ruckus was. "What happen here?!" 

"She fell down the stairs."  Whoo! He didn't rat me out. "Hey Batman, you okay?"

"Yea, thanks Robin."

The rest of the year nearly every time I was in the hallway between classes I heard "Hey Batman! What's Up?" It made me smile.

I kinda miss Robin!